How I learned to love my big nose just the way it is – Shomit in Metro
Ah, reader comments. They’re the bane of every blogger’s life. And perhaps, in my case, beauty regime.
Take these, for example.
‘You’re nothing but a big-nose b**** with a sh***y personality.’
‘I can lose my weight, you’ll have to have major reconstructive surgery to correct your huge nose.’
I had the occasional comment about my larger-than-life nose at school (I look like Worzel Gummidge), along with the ‘flat as an ironing board’ slights on my appearance.
And for many years, these unwanted remarks really got me down. Balling-my-eyes-into-my-pillow-at-night down.
There were the two weeks I spent, aged 12, Sellotaping my nose to my forehead to give it a perkier appearance.
And there were plenty of times between then and about five years ago when I would spend hours poring over cosmetic surgery sites.
But when push came to shove, and I finally saved up enough for the procedure, I decided to buy a house instead.
You see, I came to realise that there will always be what we think are faults to our appearance.
I drew the conclusion that if I corrected one fault, I’d only find another one. Then another one. And so forth.
I’m even starting to love my nose – even if it’s not as cute as a little button.
It’s a choice, my choice.
London therapist Shomit Mitter agrees that learning to love oneself is a choice: ‘The brain often seeks only the news, true or fake, that provides evidence for belief patterns it holds already.
‘So, if you love yourself, the brain will focus on evidence from the world out there that supports the view that you are lovable.
‘Of course, the reverse is also true – if you don’t love yourself, the world may well appear to dislike you.
‘But at least that means we get to choose, and that’s what the best therapy does: it gives us choice.’
If Worzel Gummidge was the anti-hero of the story, I came to find my very own big-nose heroes: Sarah Jessica Parker, Sandra Bullock, Barbara Streisand, Cate Blanchett, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Meryl Streep, Rossy de Palma, Sofia Coppola – the list’s as long as Pinocchio’s nose.
It’s a shame women’s magazines, TV programmes and films persist in such a narrow idea of what beauty is.
But in an ever-increasing age of artifice, filtered selfies and 6am gym bunnies, isn’t it surely better to love and accept ourselves – warts, wobbles, and Worzel-noses – and just focus on what we do like?
I found choosing to do this most liberating.
Besides, I have more laughs with a huge, crooked hooter – I mean, who wants to go through life with a straight face?
Read the whole article: metro.co.uk
Posted in Press