Observations & meditations on the day-to-day
Everyone has the same worth here.
by Anjali S. Mitter.
(TW: discussion of engaging with anxiety internally and externally, but not in much depth)
For each person’s anxiety there is a different cause, different reasons, different feelings, different repercussions, and different coping mechanisms. Ultimately, we’re all different and our differences make us who we are and that is always going to be important. Being self aware and aware and aware of others really has a huge impact on the world around us. So how do we find the balance? It’s tricky, but it’s doable. Food for thought:
Someone’s joy can be another person’s anxiety trigger. Someone’s dream could be another person’s nightmare. Being able to recognise that in yourself in others is easier said than done, but is critically important in order to be able to move through anxiety and past it. In some instances it’s good to be able to tell someone and if they can help, great. In other instances, it is important to recognise that other people are just living their lives and it is a matter of looking inwards to find out why their words or behaviour has affected us so much.
This is not at all a “suffer in silence” type of recommendation. Talk, share, lean on people, and engage with your anxiety on every level, that is so important. But if you are able to understand your anxiety internally as well, that is a huge benefit. Being able to distinguish between these two situations could be just one small step towards feeling a little less on edge about engaging with the people-orientated anxiety in our lives. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: we do have an impact on every person that we meet, and how we negotiate those encounters is important.
It is not the responsibility of others to make our anxiety go away. It is not our responsibility to make the anxiety of others go away. But in my books, we all definitely have a responsibility towards some degree of kindness. Kindness does not mean being walked all over or putting others before yourself at every given opportunity. Nor does it mean compromising on honesty. Honesty and kindness is possible – not all honesty has to be “brutal”. If someone does find something brutal and you know about it, tailor it. Be sensitive to it. Let them work through it in their own time because they will be able to, but surrounding that person in triggers and hard-edged honesty isn’t going to get anyone anywhere. And if you’re on the other end of this: if you feel like the world is too harsh and is moving too quickly, know that you can always find the softer places to slow down. It is entirely possible for everyone, regardless of your age, job, personality, triggers, feelings, emotions, likes, dislikes, opinions, knowledge or anything that you may feel defines you as different from the person sitting next to you.
Anxiety doesn’t choose a specific kind of person. Everyone has the same worth here.
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